The Flounder Here, Your One and Only Source into the Scandalous Lives of America’s Elite

“Ronald Dump says he will ban being a Democrat upon being elected” - DJ Vance probably
By: The Flounder

The Flounder Here, Your One and Only Source into the Scandalous Lives of America’s Elite

As of late, we see our favourites, DJ Vance, Ronald Dump and Peelon Mask in the spotlight once more. Sources confirm what Y (formerly tweeter) users already know, there is no stopping Ronny from an opinion, a first amendment right for all American citizens!

The European Onion, a fake news source according to Dumpy, has stated that they will set an arrest warrant for Peelon should he allow Ronny back onto the platform. “Wow, that’s crazy beef. Mans would never smoke their bredrins like that bro. Ronny ain’t gonna nize his beak to nun.” DJ, Ronny’s right hand man, said in a formal apology for his deleted tweets from 2016, calling Ronald ‘reprehensible’. After this old beef emerged once more between DJ and Ronald, DJ is adamant to stand up for Ronald through everything, showing him that he is worthy of being second in command.

A previous ‘alliance’ between the EU and America, the group run by Ronny and DJ is said to have been put off, this squabble too much for them to handle. “I gotta put them back in their place. Got no reason to make my homie in trouble for speakin.”

The trio of DJ, Ronald and Peelon has had a long history, with a DJ and Ronald being ops only 8 years ago. Peelon, on the other hand, has caused some controversy as of late, pressing others who whispered about him. It is unsure if the trio will last, with sources confirming that there is tension between the leaders.

“I thought we were homies. Homies don’t do each other dirty like that, yo. I don’t think I can beat yutes up with them anymore. Can’t trust,” DJ said in his closing statement. It looks like they’re set on their deal, if Peelon is out, so are they. And that’s all for the segment of Trouble in Paradise. Tune in next time to find out if the beef followed through, and if Ronny and DJ are even still around…

XOXO, the Flounder