Cafeteria staff to purchase beach house with profit from plastic utensils

High School students at Mackenzie forget to bring cutlery for lunch enough to turn a small cafeteria into a very profitable business. The serving company’s net worth is soon to be liquidated and exchanged for a beach house in Jamaica.

Expert statistician Ellen K. Almeida estimates, students forget to bring their own cutlery every 2 days out of 6. Furthermore, 90% of those cases will result in a purchased utensil.

“They’re fair people. They don’t charge for spoons and forks the first time you forget yours,” says one excited student. “But if you come frequently, the 25 cent fee is pretty reasonable.”

It seems that these plastic utensils have really grown in the hearts of the school’s population.

The founders of the now million dollar cutlery distribution businesses were recently asked, “What comes next?”

“Sporks.”