Mackenzie Teachers Innovating New Anti-Cheating Measures

New Mackenzie statistics report record high cheating rates, but teachers have devised a method that cuts cheating by 357%. Deemed the most brilliant idea ever, the method involves asking students whether they plan to cheat and punishing an answer of “yes” with the death penalty.

Teachers tested the method in several math classes. Early results yielded incredible success rates, with all students pleading innocent on the upcoming evaluation. Furthermore, some students have debunked all previous cheating accusations, resulting in cheating plummeting more than 100%.

If similarly effective on a schoolwide scale, Mackenzie will shatter the world record, and potentially spark a revolution throughout the entire field of education.

Mackenzie staff are exhilarated. High Minister of the Mackenzie Anti-Cheating Committee Joe Joe Joe Bob commented, “I believe we resolved this issue, which is an incredible relief. Our next idea was to have long lectures about the morality of cheating, but we thought that this was a bit too extreme.”

No students were available for comment, although they did laugh hysterically when Flounder writers approached them, suggesting their enthusiasm for the end of cheating at Mackenzie.