Plain Misbehaviour or Something Deeper? Student Explains How Locked Washrooms Prove the Mackenzie Swimming Pool Exists

TORONTO, ON — In the wake of the infamous boys’ washroom locking in late November, students across Mackenzie have been speculating about the reason for this seemingly arbitrary decision. One, in particular, saw the move as a cover for the long-rumoured Mackenzie swimming pool in the basement.

“Maybe this isn’t ‘politically correct’ or whatever, but all of the school’s ‘vandalism’ talk is a bunch of propaganda,” said 12th grader Freidam Wrights.

“I ain’t no swimming pool building expert, but I heard something on The Will Macky Experience podcast the other day that really made a lot of sense,” he continued.

He described the discovery of a hidden pipe that ran through the boys’ washroom stalls to the basement. With recent renovations, he argued, the pipe’s concealment had been compromised, a blunder that finally revealed the pool’s existence.

“If you look at my friend’s Facebook post, there are actual pictures of the pipe saying ‘FOR THE SECRET POOL’ on it!” Wrights fumed. “What more proof do you need? I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. That’s why they closed the washrooms, they knew their secret was out.”

As president of The Flat Earth Club, Wrights has had no lack of experience speaking out against the status quo, and he has planned to make the “poolist” voice heard at Mackenzie, with a demonstration already scheduled for January 6th of next year.

“What the people and the mainstream media mob need to understand is that facts don’t care about your feelings, and the fact is that the pool has always been there. Wake up Mackenzie!”