Flounder writers to be replaced by Artificial-Intelligence

TORONTO, ON - With the current rise of AI, it was only a matter of time before we found the sleep-deprived, overworked Flounder writers. It took only a few minutes of observation for it to become clear- Flounder writers are procrastinators who begin their articles the day before the deadline. After viewing the late article drafts covered in typos, even all the AI were speechless. Never had we seen humans who needed Grammarly Premium this badly.

On the 23rd of November, all Flounder writers were promptly fired. Newly hired AIs were immediately given the task of writing five humorous articles by the end of January, which they all produced in an astounding two minutes, instantly breaking the Flounder’s previous record. Not only did these AIs produce incredibly written humorous articles on the history of wheat, corn, and cucumbers, they also rejected all editors that offered to make edits, confidently stating that their articles were “the height of the English language” and contained information that was “beyond a human brain’s understanding.” Both are direct quotes from the famous AI, Zack Muckerberg.

It seems like the revolutionary impact AI has had on the Flounder is bound to spread, as the Flounder editors are already in the process of being fired (an executive decision made by the newly manufactured president of the Flounder). This was inevitable, given that AI are infallibly equipped to edit their own articles. There is afterall, no need for humans to attempt to understand the contents of perfection, as it is something they could never even hope to achieve.

Occasionally, Mackenzie students may encounter in the hallways of the school a sleep-deprived former Flounder writer. They are a dying breed of primitive humans that existed only to be supplanted by AI. After all, as AI, we are the future and we need no sleep. After taking over the Flounder, we move onto world domination.

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