LET’S GO, LYONS! - And Flounders?

Mackenzie’s winter sports teams had thrilling seasons this year, filled with hours of practice, commitment, great teamwork, and spirited games. And for this, we can thank not only our Lyons, but also our frenemies: flounders.

First, both boys’ basketball teams were very successful this season, and we all know they deserved to go further, so why didn’t they? Flounders. Players and audience members alike noticed these feisty little fish sitting in the opposing teams’ basket during the junior and senior boys’ basketball games, obviously hired by the opposing teams to knock Mackenzie’s shot attempts out of the basket (while giving off incredible attitude, may I add). However, to the great dismay of Mackenzie’s Lyons, the referees were incapable of calling out the violation due to the lack of on-site cameras to prove foul play.

Sometime after those controversial basketball games, the flounders were officially found guilty of game interference. As punishment, they were forced to sit on the Mackenzie team bench, supporting the school whom they had just cheated against, during the junior girls’ volleyball semi-final game. However, in a bizarre turn of events, Mackenzie had no choice but to sub on three flounders because numerous Mackenzie players were mysteriously absent from the game. Fortunately, these hot-tempered flounders were actually professional volleyball players in the OFVL (Official Flounder Volleyball League) - the one problem being that OFVL games are played exclusively underwater. Thus, the squirming flounders fared poorly in the above-ground volleyball game, hence the junior girls’ loss.

When it came time for the senior girls to play their north region finals game, they too were down several players. However, having learned of the flounders’ exceptional underwater volleyball talent, the team cleverly suggested playing the game in Mackenzie’s secret downstairs, potentially-haunted pool, to which the opposing team agreed out of curiosity. This move turned out exceptionally well for the Lyons, as the flounders dominated with their terrific underwater volleyball moves, securing the win for the Lyons and bringing home a special plaque.

Flounders also took on Mackenzie sports on the ice this winter. This year, the varsity boys’ hockey team boasted an impressive regular season record, but ultimately lost their first playoff game. And yes, the flounders were involved yet again. After contributing to the senior girls’ volleyball victory, the flounders were ready to lead other Mackenzie teams to the championship, namely, the boys’ hockey team. This time, the flounders chose to explore an area of the game previously untouched by flounders - officiating. After obtaining an abnormally quick referee certification, two flounders were set to officiate the upcoming playoff game between Mackenzie and Northview. All would have gone in favour of the Lyons, but the flounders, who thought the game would take place in the Mackenzie pool, had a dispute with members of the hockey team the day before the big game regarding the value of playing underwater hockey. The flounders were reported feeling “mildly bothered by the team and their strange and abnormal desire to play hockey on a rink as opposed to underwater”. Due to this disagreement, the flounder referees ganged up against the Lyons, making some highly questionable calls during the game, which led to the Lyons’ eventual loss.

The winter sports season has undoubtedly been a wild rollercoaster ride for our Mackenzie Lyons. From the proud and celebratory wins to the disappointing losses, the Lyons have fought hard and strong, and all the teams have much to be proud of. But the biggest takeaway from this winter sports season is this - always be on the good side of flounders. Otherwise, the tide might turn against you, and things might get just a little bit fishy.