Mackenzie Through The Years

Mackenzie is old, I believe this to be true. 5834 BCE is not too long ago in the great scope of humankind’s existence, but in light of our four years of highschool? 5834 BCE is prehistoric. As I calculated the number of years that have passed since I wrote my first Flounder article in 1858, I began my slow descent into madness.

Whilst working on said article, I stumbled upon, in the school’s musty undergrounds, a corridor with riches of the past you could not begin to imagine: William Shakespeare’s lesson plans, trophies, yearbooks, and the report cards of his students (he failed many). Most interestingly, I found a large book, “The Constitution of the Students’ Council of Mackenzie,” a foreword from the 50 BCE Council President, Julius Caesar, and over a hundred typewritten pages revealing twenty years of drafts and changes. I was enthralled. I later returned to the corridor, and under the light of my torch, wrote an article on the foreword.

Asking my literature studies teacher, Martin Luther King Jr, to assist with the creation of a new society named “the Delegation of Enigmatic Nerds” helped greatly. With my dear friends Marsha P. Johnson and Amelia Earhart, we founded the society in 1861. To explore the corridor to greater depths was our innocent desire. And quench our thirst we did.

Upon finding more exciting documents, notably more yearbooks from 100 CE, we proposed plans to post the retrieved in the public square. Negligible concerns from my classmate, Bruce Lee, regarding alumni privacy were duly unnoted, as the alumni in the yearbooks were dead. With great hope, we prepared the blueprints for publication on an upright table of blue light, later to be known as Wikipedia (once ours as Willimaclya).

Alas, the Spanish flu felled half of my comrades. Those of us remaining were forced into quarantine. Our plans to display the information had to be postponed. In the meantime, we recorded the school’s current achievements with etchings on stone tablets, and watched with dismay as outsiders published our unhidden, editable blueprints, errors and all.

Nevertheless, I continue to this day to be hopeful for retribution, and am astonished by the vast history our school possesses, despite its size.

To all ye young folk, I have one message. T’is easy to take the state of the world for granted, but things are changing, and only two things will remain a constant: the existence, superiority, and greatness of the Flounder. History is an active thing, you may as well procrastinate.