Ontario is cautiously optimistic as it announces the Mackenzie foyer mural will be completed in 2336

After multiple delays and setbacks to the opening date of the Mackenzie foyer mural, Premier Thug Ford spoke at a press conference earlier today to announce an opening date for the long-awaited art installation: 2336.

“We are pleased to be able to give the people of Mackenzie a concrete date on which the mural will be completed,” Ford spoke to gathered journalists. “Now we can breathe easier knowing that there will be a firm date for the completion of the project. We can assure you that the project will definitely be completed in 300 years, give or take.”

Pil Verster, CEO of Metrolynx, warned people to take Ford’s statements with a pinch of salt, when he randomly commented on his thoughts about the school mural which had remotely nothing to do with public transportation in the GTA.

“I’m not going to speculate on dates because that gets us into a messy place but I will give you the assurance that when we open we will operate the mural reliably and operate the mural safely. And that’s the priority.”

When we reached out to the TTC Media Relations Board, they apologized for the inconvenience.

“I assure you that we are making relentless progress on the mural,” Ford continued, unaware that this article had already shifted attention towards other people. “All that we need to do now is argue with Bombardier, connect the electrical grid, inspect the mural, implement slow zones on the mural, ban the construction of new bike lanes on the mural, sue the school board, reach a settlement with the school board, dig a highway under Mackenzie, figure out how to block Reddit on school internet, and figure out what the heck a mural even is.”

However, critics say that an opening date of three centuries from now is suspiciously optimistic, citing previous instances when the project’s anticipated opening date of June 2024 had been pushed. It has been noted that previous art installation projects in other schools provided timelines that spanned geological eras, rather than centuries- the first few eras often being community consultation.

Thug Ford hopes to use the lessons learned from the mural project as a template for the implementation of air conditioning throughout the entire school, set to be completed between now and the heat death of the universe.