Local Woman Starts Portable Hairdressing Business on the Subway

TORONTO, ON — Toronto native Paula Cuttingham has found a new portable way to make money from her passion—cutting hair aboard the subway. She cuts from Monday to Friday, from 9 am to 7 pm, and frequently plays a high-stakes game of hide-and-seek with TTC workers. Paula Cuttingham always dreamed of cutting hair, but was never trained due to her very unsteady hands. After getting fired from her job counting beans due to spilling her beans countless times, she was riding the subway home when she noticed a man with very long hair. The idea was born: a portable hair salon aboard the TTC.

“I think Paula’s haircuts are a bang for your buck!” frequent customer Crazee Hare raved in a recent interview at Spadina station. “Her prices are affordable, which allows me to get my haircut for only forty-five cents! ”. Half of Crazee’s head was styled as a buzz cut, and the other half in the form of a bowl cut, along with being covered in bald spots.

One of the Flounder’s employees, Buzz Cuut, purchased a haircut from Cuttingham this morning, and requested a trim for eighty cents. The haircut resulted in the top of his head shaved to bald and only the crown of his hair remaining. Like his hair, his session was cut short, due to TTC workers entering the train to shut down Paula, forcing her to flee like a vigilante on the run.

“This business is disruptive, illegal and a disgrace to hairdressers everywhere,” said Carol Thomas, a TTC employee at the station of Spadina. “There has been a trend of awful haircuts from passengers, every day I see people with lopsided bangs, accidental mullets, and bald spots. This woman doesn’t know how to cut hair, and I don’t know how she is still in business.”

However one views Paula Cuttinghams business of Subway Hairdressing, it’s fair to say that Canada’s entrepreneurs are as fearless as they are questionable. The only question left is, would you trust your hair to a woman who cuts on a moving subway?