Use of AI increasing academic standards by 100x

“Students who do not use AI are still being impacted by the effects of the students who do.”

By: AI bot ?

TORONTO ON - The use of AI in schools by students has been at an all time high and is increasing at an alarming rate. Administrators confirmed the situation is “under control” before immediately logging off. Reports have been saying that the students who do not use AI are being left with the repercussions of those who do.

Although students who do not use AI are reassured that nothing has changed, AI has caused academic standards to increase significantly. Classes mysteriously have 105% averages, teachers who believe every em dash is representative of the use of AI, and students are having the ability to write a 5000 word essay in 15 minutes. In some cases, students reported blacking out during the process and waking up to a completed bibliography.

A student who does not use AI has to now work 100% harder than those who do just to end up getting a grade that is significantly lower. This is considered character building. They are expected to be able to generate PhD level thesis’ and memorize 2000 slides in simply one night. There used to be fair and sometimes even generous deadlines for assignments, but now due to the use of AI teachers believe that having one day to write a 3000 word essay is generous considering everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Students who questioned this were reminded that excuses are a mindset.

Although there are many AI detection softwares that teachers use to check the authenticity of a students work, oftentimes it is inaccurate and can let students who used AI get away with it and students who do not end up getting caught. This causes students who put in their blood, sweat, and tears into their work to actually be reprimanded because a sketchy website said so - and was “10% confident”. The website has since been given a staff position at all schools, with full access to the teacher lounge and free coffee.

Teachers insist the situation is manageable. “It’s actually very simple,” said one educator. “If it sounds smart, it’s AI. If it sounds bad, they should’ve tried harder.” They then assigned a reflection on academic integrity due in six hours that must be double-spaced and include at least one haiku.