Students Celebrate Birthday of Under Construction Rooftop LRT

Last week, Mackenzie students celebrated the fifteenth birthday of the currently under construction rooftop LRT line. The party was held in the stairwell at the end of the science hallway, the future site of one of the LRT stations. There was cake for all attendees and even a mariachi performance by Wind Symphony.

The Mackenzie Transit Club (MTC) first started construction on the rooftop LRT 15 years ago. The line, when opened, will alleviate traffic in the science wing in between periods and get students to their classes faster. It was originally meant to open five years ago, but due to construction delays and admin disputes, the date continues to be pushed further and further into the future. The LRT is now over fourteen years old.

Even Mackenzie’s number one procrastinator attended the party, saying, “It was a blast celebrating Mackenzie’s symbol of student procrastination! The MTC procrastinates harder on opening this line than I did on my history culminating.” This quote was submitted five seconds before the deadline.

Although the MTC has shared that the LRT will open by the end of the year, many students remain doubtful, especially after last week’s press conference. The president of the MTC announced, “The MTC has finally finished the final thirtieth round of testing of the Mackenzie Rooftop LRT. The line will open soon.”

Many observant and impatient students noticed that the MTC did not give a specific date for the opening of the rooftop LRT, which angered them greatly. However, the festivities of the birthday celebration helped distract the upset students.

Eetern Al-Wayt, a former Mackenzie student who attended the party, graduated from high school when construction on the LRT line started. “Now I completed my undergrad, won a Nobel prize, cured cancer, and even started a family, yet the line is STILL NOT OPEN!!!!!” he cried.

One sophomore at the party commented, “I can’t believe the LRT is as old as I am!”

Some students at the party even set up a secret gambling ring. They made bets on which event will happen first: the opening of the rooftop LRT, their English essays getting graded, or the Toronto Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup. Payouts are expected to be made when one of these events occurs.

The MTC will be releasing more updates on the rooftop LRT in the near future. Stay tuned for the Flounder’s report on the eventual grand opening of the line.